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Many relationships end up on the outs. When we say we just want to be friends, we don't always mean it. It is hard to maintain contact with someone you had a past with, especially if it was hurtful. We would rather just walk away from them and that part of our life altogether. Unfortunately for many break ups, there are children involved. We have no choice but to be civil, at least for the sake of the kids.

Agree to disagree. Some people just can't see eye to eye no matter how hard they try. The more time you spend banging heads, the worse you make things. Be willing to meet each other half way. Remember that it isn't about the two of you anymore. Now it is about the offspring you share together. They should be your main concern now.

Put the past behind you. Let bygones be bygones. You can't change the past, so don't bother. There's no sense in holding a grudge. It only hurts more in the long run. Your time with them is over now so don't let them get to you. Even though you may not be able to forget what happened, you can still forgive and move on.

Think of your kids. Don't put them through the constant bickering. They don't want or need to hear their parents fighting. Love your kids more than you hate your ex. Loving them means respecting their other parent, no matter how hard it may be.

Talk to your ex honest and open. Explain to them that you are tired of fighting and are ready to put it behind you. Ask them to be mature too. Hopefully, you will be able to find common ground. Avoid danger topics and sharing personal information at first if it's going to cause trouble. Try not to be easily offended. If something your ex does bother you, confront them like an adult. Don't play games or use the kids as pawns.

Many people find that no matter what they do, they can't forgive, forget, or let go of the hostility. If this is your case, designate someone that you both can trust to be a go between for visits and the children until you can learn to get along a little better. Learn to accept the situation for what it is. You can't change who the other parent of your child is so now you must learn to deal with it. Remember that things take time. Things may not get easy overnight. Just as you wouldn't want to see your parents fight, your children wouldn't want to see their parents fight. Keep that in mind.

Learn more about this author, Laura Leigh Fields.
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