23 of 76

Yes

Write now Article Tools

I've voted YES on this topic because the question posed isn't specific enough to suit me, due to the possibility that Nicole is equipped with the proper anatomical functions required to reproduce. That alone is enough to say that yes, she does indeed have what it takes to be a mother. Of course everyone who reads the inquiry assumes that the asker is asking, "does she have what it takes to be a GOOD mother", but I don't care for assumptions because they're so vague. I like specifics and statistics and hard, cold numbers. After having said that, I'll ask you to politely refrain from pointing out that I just assumed that everyone who read the question assumed the meaning. Thank you.

Speaking of hard and cold, let's get back to Nicole's anatomy - it's also an assumption to conclude that the biological necessities are in place to allow her to conceive and give birth. Most likely they are, but few of us really know, now do we. I tried to find out but my lack of success is due to a 300 pound bodyguard with bad breath who wheezes when he breaths and although he can't run very fast he can probably do a lot of damage with those ham hocks he calls "arms" if he were to get them around my neck, so I didn't stay in the hotel suite long enough to find out. I'm lucky I landed in the pool because a 12-story jump is fairly risky, so I won't be going back there again.

This leaves me to assume, which I don't mind doing if I've exhausted all other resources, that Nicole is qualified, genderally speaking, to bear children. I know "genderally" isn't a word so give me a break here, you know what I mean. She can probably give birth whether we want her to or not, and giving birth would make her a mother. I think a more interesting question to pose would be, "If Nicole Richie were to undergo a sex change operation after giving birth would she have what it takes to be a mother?" To that I'm afraid I'd have to answer no, but she'd make a heck of a father, albeit kind of a skinny, effeminate one who cusses a lot. She (or he) would also be one of the prettiest fathers I've ever seen. This would also free her up to marry Paris Hilton (unless they move to West Hollywood or San Francisco) and they could raise the child together.

In my humble yet strangely immodest opinion, a member of the next generation who's brought up by Paris Hilton as it's mother and Nicole Richie as it's father would make important contributions to society in about 15-20 years, most notably the County of Los Angeles (by the way of fines) and all of those Sheriff's Deputies who'd find gainful employment just by keeping tabs on the youngster. The department would have to hire an entire task force for that Herculean effort, and since I'm all for employment and county revenue, I say let's do it! Assuming (oops, I did it again) those two have patched up their silly differences, let's get them together and find a surgeon and a preacher, in that order. Got to make it legit, you know.

Learn more about this author, Dave Rhodes.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Does Nicole Richie have what it takes to become a mother??
We want to hear your view. Write now!