by Olivia Bredbenner

Created on: August 18, 2007   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Tread softly if you are the mother of sons. For you too, will be a mother in law some day.Mother in law woes take place for both women who love this one man. My son and your husband.

As a mother of three sons,making me a mother in law times three ! This was so new to me,their marriages took place during the time that their dad was ill and I was working full time in Health care.

Individually theses girls were singled out from the others as the boys dated. We always had our home filled with their friends during the teen years. I was as their Mom,the only female in our home, challenges were many,as you can imagine, there was an over abundance of testosterone in the air most of the time.

Each girl entered our life and became special for their individuality,and were accepted because they were chosen to be wives of each son.

The only thing I ever wanted for each son, was that someone love them as much as I do, then I would let go.

But what came as a surprise and to this day has influenced the relationships in our lives.Is that because I have a relationship with my sons,does not mean that my daughter in laws will have relationships with each other. It was naive on my part to expect that girls who have no history with us as a family or each other.Would ever easily come together. This was a painfully hard lesson for me.

The open door to my home is filled with many that come and go. But, now rarely with the boys who became men in the image of their great dad.

I had let go, and in the early days of their marriages, I only held on with a string to lives. What I truly feel makes a daughter in law feel threatened,is the fleeting thoughts of a widowed mom, taking any space that belongs to her as his wife. I got to know well each as they matured into women.I see more than I say,and will offer help when ever I can,for the unexpected bumps in their lives.

As they have matured, I can honestly say,I have grown to love each of them individually, especially when I see them be loving to my grandchildren,and caring for to their men.Our relationships are strong and more meaningful now.

I hope the day will come,when my daughter in laws,can accept each other as I do them,unconditionally. Maybe, they will then give me the greatest gift of all.Bringing their men, together as brothers again.

Learn more about this author, Olivia Bredbenner.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.