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One of the most important questions you may have is whether or not your man believes that marriage is for a lifetime. I think it is very fair to ask those questions outright since it will have much to do with future planning. If you have visions of having children and growing old together as you both are actively involved in your children's and grandchildren's lives, you wouldn't want a playboy who readily says that he thinks eventually most people grow apart or meet someone more compatible during a later life stage.

It is also very important to know if either one or both of you have children already and if you want anymore. Sometimes for one reason or another, the man may have already had children and not told you. He may even have skipped over telling you that he was married before. It is very important to find this out because you will most likely eventually be a part of the children's lives. Does he think that you should stay at home for a time while the children are little, or does he see himself as a stay-at-home dad? Would he want a totally shared joint effort?

This leads to another very important question. Is he honest with you? If he is lying now before you marry when you are engaged and you are honest, this could be a sign of future problems. If he did omit some of the truth, and he says it is because he didn't want to scare you away, it is up to you whether you can live with this and whether you see a pattern of dishonesty.

Some people find it very important to know at least a little about any previous serious relationships and why they ended. It may be that your man gets along famously in the beginning, but when the going gets tough, he departs. I've often heard of this happening. On the other hand, he may have had only a few long-term committed relationships but have good reasons for the breakups.

I also think it's very important to determine if he actually means that he would love you "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health" because I've known several seemingly happily married couples who, when one or the other had a serious accident or medical condition arise, the other one wanted an almost immediate divorce. Just try to ask if he would love you still if you became disabled, and I believe you will know if this man truly will love you for the rest of your life.

Is what is important to you also important to him? Does he value your opinion or does he separate to be with the "boys" when you go to parties, and you feel like you're intruding

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