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You try to put it all behind you, or ignore it all together. Don't want to believe that all THAT really happened to YOU. I could tell you stories, but I won't bore you with all that.

Denial: n. pl. -S the act of denying. (From the Official Scrabble Players Dictionary.)

There are so many ways you can picture that.

You can deny your partner something....(?)
You can deny that you said that.

You can deny that it EVER happened...the list goes on.

How much can one person take? Some people are very stronged willed. Some have a strong constitution. Its weird how much one person will actually take. I know. I have been there. I lived with a guy for 10 years, had a baby with him. The last two years of the relationship he told me he had cancer. He was sick everyday. He never had any energy after his chemo treatments, that I paid for. We would try to go out and eat and he couldn't eat because he was so sick. His Dad and other relatives were sending him money every few weeks, to help out with the medical bills.
I borrowed $15000.00 from my pension plan at work. The money I'm saving for my future. After a few months, his dad said, "He's not sick". My whole body tensed and I said back, "Yes he is. You don't have to live with him. You just don't understand." Well, it turns out that he DIDN'T have cancer. He had a drug addiction. I denied it all through the whole relationship. I said "no, he couldn't be lying to me" but I kept asking him, whats wrong? I know that something is wrong. But what? Well, one day my grandmother (the woman that raised me.) had a stroke. While I was in the hospital with her, wondering if she was going to live or die, I got a call from my Daycare. (Yes, I said Daycare!) They told me that my boyfriend was in jail and then proceeded to tell me where I could find my car that hadn't been confinscated yet. I went and found the car. Went and bailed out the dummy. A week later he pretends to be a doctor and calls in his own prescription. Well they were waiting for him. They let him get all the way to the car. He tried to outrun the police. He hit a water hydrant. Then he proceeded to ram into the police cars. They got him for Deadly Assault with a Weapon. This time when I went to pick up the car, I didn't recognized it. They drove me out to it, and I looked in horror and said, No that's not my car. The driver glanced down at a piece of paper and back at me and said, "yep that is it." Oh my gosh! Anyway....This was just the start of the horrors for the next two years. All because I was in denial. If I had of opened my eyes and saw what was going on around me, I could have saved myself a lot of pain. One of my friends told me, I saw what was happening, you just wouldn't listen. Well, I would listen now. Never again will I be in denial. Its funny I say this now, but you watch....The next one that comes along will be THE ONE. Its really just a cycle. A neverending cycle.....

Learn more about this author, Pamela Folks.
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