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The true killer of a marriage is lack of communication between a husband and a wife. There will be times in most marriages when spouses differ in opinion or have a misunderstanding, but with good communication most of these difficulties can be overcome.

Everyone begins marriage with the best of intentions. They believe that their relationship is so strong that it will never become strained. Sadly, the fact is that everyday life can bring with it unforeseen challenges and often hardships which have to be endured. If communication between a couple is good then they can stand together as a unit during life's trials and tribulations and make each other stronger because of it.

If the communication is poor then difficult circumstances can become worse and the marriage can suffer as a result.

Many people take communication for granted. We can be led to believe that the ability to communicate well is an asset that we are born with. It is only when communication comes under the spotlight during a stressed relationship that we can begin to see that effective communication is not a magical gift bestowed upon us at birth, but a skill which we have to learn and can improve upon throughout our lives.

Where there is a dying marriage it is highly likely that the couple have ceased to talk and discuss matters as well as they used to. This is usually a gradual process that can be hard to spot in the first instance. Poor communication can creep up on a couple and render them unable to sort out differences as they resort to screaming and shouting or not talking to each other at all.

In such cases other serious difficulties may occur as a result of this lack of communication. As each spouse feels unhappy they may seek to make themselves feel better in other destructive ways such as by having an affair. Once infidelity has entered a marriage the trust that was once held shortly diminishes too.

A way to get back on track with the marriage is for the couple to agree to cease raising their voices at each other and definitely not to name call or swear at one another. Setting aside a certain amount of time each day to deal with unresolved issues can help to lighten the load that a marriage has to bare.

When a couple feel unable to do this then they can find further help from a marriage counselor who will be used to teaching couple's to re-learn how to communicate and talk about the real feelings and insecurities behind all of the fear and resentment contained in the previous shouting or silence.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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