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What does it mean to a woman to grow up without her father

As a small child I adored my Daddy. I would gaze upon his tall form dressed so immaculately in his Marine uniform and dance on his polished black shoes until he would pick me up to kiss my nose, cheeks and then my eyes closed for bedtime. He always smelled so wonderful and I loved nothing better than to curl up in his lap just before bedtime so his aftershave would be on my nightgown as I drifted off to sleep.

My Daddy was my hero, my knight in shining armor, my everything. It was always "me and Daddy" against the world - sometimes even against my mother, especially when I was 10 and they decided it was time to for them to divorce. It took 2 years, multiple kidnappings between both parents, a move across country when they tried to work things out, and finally they divorced when I was 12 and I was "Daddy's little girl" no longer.

My pregnant mother, younger brother, and myself moved back across the country and started a new life while my dad moved to a remote location that the Marines transferred him too where he stayed for the next 6 years. I can remember the bitterness, not so much at my dad at first but strangely at my mom. How dare she leave my "daddy" and how dare she not try harder to make him come see me and my brothers.

Since that time, I've grown up and become a mother and wife myself. Isn't it strange that the sins of our parents really do carry on down through the generations? I finally realized (with much prayer and help from God) my parents are human with human frailties. I see the mistakes and awful things I've perpetuated against my children and wonder what their lives & thoughts will be like when they are adults. But the most amazing thing I see is the mercy and the grace of God in my parent's divorce. My mother is a stronger person because of the divorce - a better mother, woman and Christian. She found God when she never saw Him before and raised us to know Him. My Daddy found a wife after a long, tragic road that has helped him to overcome his drinking problem.

Some nights while trying to fall asleep I play the game of "what if?" God and I have had many conversations during my prayer time about "what if my parents had never divorced?" I thank Him so much that He is a God of amazing love and willing to allow us to make our mistakes instead of rushing in to fix everything. It's hard to do that with my own children how much harder it must be for God to see us hurting so much and not intervene.

Learn more about this author, Stacy Slay.
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What does it mean to a woman to grow up without her father

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