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Sitting at a table in the hospital's cafeteria, my minister and I waited for the doctor's return. There had been an accident. How serious I didn't know, but the white starched coat had disappeared over an hour ago behind the swinging emergency doors__doors that now stood rigid, indifferent, like two statues guarding the entrance to a hallowed sanctuary.

At last the doctor was facing me. Showing no emotion, he began reciting the litany of injuries as if reading from a medical journal: "Broken ribs, collapsed lung, internal bleeding..." He continued ratting on. My mind was racing, waiting to hear what room he was in, how long he would be there, when I could see him.

"We did everything we could." The doctor's words jolted me back to reality.

"You mean he died?" I asked half seriously, still not grasping the extent of his injuries.

He slowly nodded his head.

"You mean he's dead?"

Again he nodded.

The realization of what that nod meant hit me with terrifying impact. Like a picture in slow motion, I felt my body stiffen and lift off the chair as my arms flung heavenward. "Oh, my God, Oh, God, Jesus!" I screamed. "God's punishing me. He's punishing me."

That was June 3,1975, a day that will live in my memory and the memories of my four boys. It was on that day that my husband, their father was killed in a motorcycle accident.

Widowed at the age of 38 I faced an uncertain and, to me, frightening future.

So often I have looked back at that time and wondered how I made it through. Of course I wasn't prepared for such a tragedy, no one ever is. However, I did learn, even though it was the hard way, that there are key elements for recovering from life's major setbacks.

First and foremost, you must grieve. That may sound like a ridiculous statement. After all, everyone grieves over loss. Not so. Many people run from the pain of grief. They fill their lives with all types of activities so they won't have to think about it. They clock eighty hours a week at work, book cruises, drink, jump into a new relationships. Granted, grief is a painful process. But in order to heal properly, you must go through it.

Many people gain strength from their faith. Having faithful friends who will listen and pray with you is a great source of comfort. In my case, my faith took a temporary nose dive. This too, is normal, and others must be careful not to judge. How could God allow this to happen? Isn't He supposed to protect us? How can I ever trust Him again? These were the issues I struggled with.

When

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