Many people use the phrase "If you loved me you would...." in their relationship. But is it really healthy to guilt them into doing something?

The truth is, love is not a guilt-trip. Love is selfless and caring. Yes it is true that at times we are all conceited, but if you really do love another, you shouldn't expect them to change.

When considering changing someone, you should ask yourself some simple questions.

1) Why did I fall in love with this person?
2) Is the desired change extremely necessary to keep a healthy relationship?
3) Is it really my role to try and change the other person?
4) Shouldn't I love them for who they are?
5) What is more important to me in this relationship? Myself or them?

If you continue with this desire, nothing but destruction will come of it.

Desire to change, becomes selfishness.
Selfishness, becomes domination.
Domination, becomes abusive.

Although this isn't for sure the down spiral of all relationship with a desire to change the significant other, it is a very common possibility.

It is simply unhealthy for the relationship, and will cause guilt and shame later on.

Learn more about this author, Taylor Stephens.
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