by Elizabeth Kelley

Created on: August 16, 2007

You have heard so many times, over and over, that you should marry for love. And you should. But, marriage goes so much deeper than a person you love. A successful marriage should be based not only on love, but on common goals for your future together, how well you get along, and simple adoration for each other.

Adoration for each other is different than love. I love my parents, brothers, and pets. But I adore my husband. I adore how he holds me, how he kisses me, and how he protects me. Anyone can offer a hug to anyone, and any person can kiss someone else. But, when you truly adore the one you are with, everything seems more meaningful. When you are with someone you adore, the worst moments don't seem so bad, and the best moments feel like a fairy tale.

Common goals for your future is crucial in a marriage. It encompasses not only a level at which you want to achieve in your career, but a level at which you want to achieve in your life. A person who wants to live a high profile life in a major city would not do well to enter into a marriage with someone who wants to live on a farm in a country. A person who despises children would not do well to enter into a marriage with a person who wants multiple children. If, when you envision your future, you envision your life as opposite how your partner envisions theirs, you may want to reconsider entering into a marriage.

How well you get along is also very important. If, when you see each other sporadically, you get along wonderfully, but tend to get annoyed or bored of each other after long periods of spending time together, you may want to reconsider marriage. Remember that, in a marriage, this person will be home when you are home, sleep where you sleep, and everyday routines will be doubled. Getting up in the morning, taking a shower, brushing your teeth, eating breakfast. Your spouse is usually doing those same things around the same time as you, and you usually have to share your space. If you get bored of each other, or agitated with each other easily, marriage may not be your best commitment.

Another thing to consider when you are going to get married is how the person acts in a crisis or time of need. Marriages encounter many speed bumps and even some road hazards. Things often become less about intimacy and more about paying bills, taking care of children, and dealing with crises together. If the person you are considering getting married to acts immature when financial or emotional issues arise, it's unlikely things will become better when that person is your spouse. So, finding a person who handles crises in a way you can respect and live with is a huge factor.

Although there are many aspects to consider when thinking of reasons to marry, we all usually sum it up as "this is the one I love". But, if all you have is love, and nothing more, it may turn out that love is not enough. Couples everywhere find this out every day. Sometimes, love is not all there is.

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