I would not say I am the perfect disciplinarian, but I do have one advantage over some: I recognize when I am not. More and more recently, I have seen expert advice in magazines and books that emphasizes letting your kids see that you are human. If that's the case, I guess I have nothing to worry about! I lose it with them more than I'd like to (I'm a single mom, with three kids six and under, and the pressure builds up), but have recently tried to let them know the explosion is coming before it happens. It seems to make them recognize what they need to do to diffuse the situation.

Consistency is another important factor in effective discipline, and one many of us could work on. I try to address discipline issues right away, but it seems that the kids know just when I'm involved with something-dialing the phone, attending to dinner, washing one child's hair, etc.-that can't be aborted. So I wait, and sometimes they get away with something they shouldn't for a little while. If I can, I fix the offending child with "THE LOOK," so at least they know their behavior is recognized and will be addressed.

One thing I don't have too much trouble with is catching them being good. I would so much rather enjoy my time with my kids, so we have had many conversations about how to have fun together rather than have me be exasperated all the time. While there still seem to be harder times of the day, the kids have taken much of this to heart, and are overall incredibly helpful, thoughtful, and polite children. And when I'm in the middle of rolling around on the lawn or dancing in the living room, and cracking up over the silly antics we're all engaging in, I recognize that this is why I wanted to be a parent, and it's worth learning to do the job my best, because the fun is the reward.

That said, I admit I still regularly engage in things the "experts" would frown on, like "because I said so" and some yelling (usually over the kids' rowdiness). I just can't believe that these are so bad, if overall you're teaching-and more importantly, modeling-compassionate, thoughtful behavior, and owning up to the mistakes you do make. It's a tough job, but it's also one of the best. Good luck and have fun with it!

Learn more about this author, Debra Wilson.
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