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Should adults stay married regardless of the happiness factor

After being unhappily married for two years, I decided to make a change. Over the course of a year, I had quietly let my husband know that I was no longer happy in our relationship. It seemed no matter what I told him, he didn't hear me, or try to take steps to change what was wrong in our relationship.

When I had finally had enough, I walked in from work and said, I want a divorce. It took him by surprise. It almost took me by surprise. The words just came out, and I was more than comfortable with them.

Our marriage wasn't a horrible one. He wasn't beating me, or throwing me around, or anything like that. I just felt confined to our home, raising our children, and looking after him. Night after night, he would go out drinking with his buddies; time after time he would make me promises, only to break them, when something better came up for him.

Having three children, I often felt like I was a single parent, being the one for them in the morning, all day, at night and in the middle of the night. It was a rare occasion for him to get out of bed with a crying baby, as he stated he just couldn't hear them crying. There was once that he got up to go to the bathroom when the baby started crying, and still he got back into bed, and 'fell asleep', so that I could attend to her.

I didn't mind being the only 'parent'. I found it exhausting and thrilling at the same time. What I didn't like was the fact that I wasn't a single parent. I was in a partnership, and it never felt even close to that.

A year before I realized just how unhappy I was, I started on a Journey, taking me into the roots of my heart, and discovering what it was that I wanted in my life. I realized that in many ways, my husband held me back from achieving many of these things.

After stating to my husband that I wanted a divorce, he suggested that we go to marriage councelling. We tried that, but I found myself more frustrated than before. Every suggestion that the councellor made sounded great in the room, but there was a refusal outside, that wouldn't allow any of the changes to happen. He continuously made me empty promises, interrupted me and still didn't help out around the house or with the children.

When I learned I was pregnant, yet again, I was angry and hurt. I had asked my husband to get a vasectomy, and he hadn't, and now I was pregnant again. I had never been so angry before in my life, and my husband's solution was for me to get an abortion.

Everything seemed to be a downward spiral, as I faced


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Should adults stay married regardless of the happiness factor

  • 1 of 39

    by Catherine Graham

    After being unhappily married for two years, I decided to make a change. Over the course of a year, I had quietly let my

    read more

  • 2 of 39

    by Writer M

    Marriage is a pledge! Happiness is a choice! Love is a challenge! Maintaining them is a matter of tolerance and intolerance!

    read more

  • 3 of 39

    by Scott Wells

    A loveless marriage is the worst form of injustice for all parties involved. After all, What is marriage if not the consecration

    read more

  • 4 of 39

    by Elaine Sihera

    I think I would find it difficult to understand why someone would stay in a relationship when they are completely unhappy.

    read more

  • 5 of 39

    by Amber Richards

    I am very torn on this topic. The expected answer would be, " No, a couple should not stay married if they are not happy."

    read more

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Should adults stay married regardless of the happiness factor

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