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Undoubtedly, the answer to the question is - ZIMBABWE! Having heard of Mr. Mugabe's world-renowned program of displacing those parasitical, unproductive white farmers with properly educated and experienced black professionals, with all the resultant bumper crops and exports and beneficial effects upon the national currency and psyche - President Bush will invade Zimbabwe, "rendition" the black farmers aboard CIA-chartered planes to secret camps in Eastern Europe, and waterboard them into divulging their secrets. Then, using the information, contract employees of the U.S. Government (did I say Halliburton? There are other outfits, not all owned in part by a certain Vice President) will employ the data gained to ratchet up Afghanistan's opium crop, which will be air-dropped by C-130s onto American soil or stashed for safe keeping temporarily on the Bush family's Zapata oil platforms in the Gulf of Mexico. The end result will be that American (and other) investors in the NYSE will be able to relax a little more comfortably on their sofas, portfolios more surely capitalised upon the misery of those whom the Defenders-Of-The-Faith (a.k.a., the "law enforcement heroes") will aggressively pursue. God bless the Bush family. God bless America. And God bless the police and FBI. Despite his many well-known virtues and successes, however, something inside me speaks of curbing my enthusiasm for Robert Mugabe. Maybe it's those thick eyeglasses.

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