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Abuse is, or should be, one of the most hated words and acts in a relationship between two people. In its most hateful form abuse is deemed to relate to any physical act that causes harm or damage to another. However, as we know well from media reported and legal cases, abuse can be far more widespread is its definition and actions. Sometimes with the less obvious forms of abuse, the abuser may not even be aware that they are being abusive, let alone consider themselves to be an abuser. What then are the signs that will tell you if you are being abusive to the partner in your relationship, or conversely the signs by which you can tell that he or she is being abusive to you|?

It is extremely easy to tell if you are physically abusive in your relationship. If you get so angry with your partner that you end up throwing things at him or her, or pushing and hitting them, then that is physical abuse and it needs to be stopped NOW! No one should be subjected to this type of abuse in a relationship, whether it is the girl or the boy and if you have a tendency towards this type of violence it is important that you immediately seek help and, if you feel that you cannot control yourself around your partner, then the honourable and safest thing for both of you is for you to move out until the problem has been solved. Furthermore, it is no excuse to blame the physical abuse on alcohol or drugs. If these are causing you to lose control, then stop taking them. Again you need to stop NOW!

Another form of abuse is mental cruelty. Although this often is not as apparent as physical abuse, deep down you will know if you are subjecting your partner to this abuse. If you are constantly belittling them either in private or in public, telling her or him how useless they are, taking every opportunity to demean them. Or you could be a controlling person, demanding that they comply with everything that you say, whether they want to or not, then again is mental cruelty. Similarly, so is not allowing the partner to have his or her own life. Expecting them to be in the house when you say so, forbidding them from going out without you or unless you say so, interrogating them about what they have been doing during the day, or when you were not there, and who they have been seeing, all of this is mental cruelty. If you really care for your partner, you will make sure that this sort of treatment stops because it is unfair and cruel. Jealousy is often the motive behind these acts of cruelty

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