3 of 28

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

I have met mothers who work and take great joy from the time they spend with their kids, but I don't have the diversion of work. I have met mothers who stay home and don't play with their kids at all, but I want to be a part of their lives, and not the shrew barking orders from the kitchen. I have also met mothers who stay at home with their kids, and spend every waking moment of the day doing something that revolves around them. I don't know that I really want to be that mother either, but even the realization that I don't want to be makes me feel like a bad person.

In my rational brain, I know that it is ok for all of these feelings. Not every woman is intended to be Mother Earth incarnate. It is also healthy to have a sense of self. After all, my children will not be small forever, and I don't want to be lost when they go. I will be sad, I am completely certain. I will feel that a part of me is gone. What I don't want is to have no identity when they finally old enough to figure out theirs. I want to be myself and not just a shadow of what I used to be.

So I struggle with the balance of it. Some days I think I am doing ok. Some days I find my mind wandering to things I would rather be doing, and bit too much more my liking. I am trying hard not to feel too much guilt about it and to live in the present day. No matter what type of mother a woman strives to be, it seems we will always be our own toughest critics. The hard part is remember to not beat ourselves up about it.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Lavallee.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about The feelings of guilt of a stay at home mom?
We want to hear your view. Write now!