Do We Divorce Because We Married the 'Wrong' People?

The short answer to that is NO! There is nothing 'wrong' about the partners being divorced. That's what we like to believe when we don't want to accept responsibility for the choice we made. No one makes a 'bad' choice when they meet someone because all relationships are based upon trust until each party reveals themselves. We can never know someone in a short space of time so we have to go on the superficial things like looks and communication until we get to know the person's personality. Later down the line, when things do not work out, people then believe their relationship broke up because they were living with the 'wrong' partners whom they should not have married, or set up home with. They believe they made a costly 'mistake' and should have known better. But that is a myth and a fallacy which suits the blame instinct and provides a handy scapegoat for assuaging personal guilt and remorse. Knowing better at that time would have been impossible because both parties would have lacked the knowledge, experience and maturity to make a different decision. That was the only decision possible at that time.

In very simple terms, and stated very clearly to avoid any ambiguity, NO ONE makes a mistake when they select a partner. It is very easy to think we can remedy what happened at the end by saying we made a mistake. No, we didn't! We chose exactly the right partner for THAT moment in time in our lives, otherwise we would have chosen someone else! Often people vilify their spouses, forgetting the fantastic time they had at the beginning, the hot intense feelings they had for each other, the way they didn't want anyone else because they desired that person too much. Years down the line when the fire of love has dwindled to flickering embers, replaced by resentment and anger, they then believe they did something wrong in choosing that person. But they didn't, unless the relationship was arranged for or they were coerced into it.

Every decision we made about our life back then was precisely the right one because it matched our MOOD, FEELINGS and ASPIRATIONS at that moment in time. For example, back in 1966 you might have got caught up in the free love and flower-power sex of the liberating Sixties. That would have encouraged you to get a girlfriend who embodied those beliefs, who would grow with you in love and who matched your aspirations according to what you both said to each other and how you treated

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