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While I'm pretty secure in my current vocation, I like nearly everyone I know, surfs Monster.com and Hot Jobs on occasion. I will, on a lark, take the occasional interview just to keep my skills sharp. So, yesterday on my way home from the video store where I had purchased the recently released "Gidget Turns A Trick", I saw a Help Wanted sign in the window of a non-descript building just off Northwest Avenue. As luck would have it, I had a few minutes to spare, so I decided to see what was what.

I entered the reception area and told the girl (at least I think it was a girl although considering that one, I was in Eldorado and , two, the recent advances in genetic mutation, I'm still not certain) behind the desk I was interested in applying for the job. She handed me an application and I politely asked if she had someplace cool that I could put my 12-pack since it was warm outside and I didn't want to leave it in the truck. She kindly accommodated me, whilst giving me a snooty look. I on the other hand viewed it as a perfectly normal request and hoped that the ingenuity I had shown would bode well for me in the selection process.

I took this opportunity to present her with a copy of my resume. I keep several of these in my musket case, because among other things, they're good for wadding. I hoped that having my resume handy might expedite the process and that I would be allowed to forego the ritual filling out of the application. But that was not to be the case.

"There may be questions on the application that are not specifically addressed on your resume", she saidstill with that snooty attitude.

It didn't take me long to see how right she was. There were some questions that I could see were a feeble attempt to explore my psyche, but, as I told her, "I don't expect that you'll have any more success in this endeavor than the folks at the State Hospital".

Q: If space aliens were to appear in the office and offer you anything you wanted, what's the first thing you would ask for?
A: Probably a change of underwear. I mean, if I looked up and saw a space alien I'dwellit's obvious ain't it?

Q: Where would you like to be years from now?
A: Living on a private island that I purchased with the proceeds from this embezzlement scheme I've been working on.

Q: Why are you looking to change jobs?
A: Well, I've tired to do pretty much nothing over the last three years and stay below the boss' radar, but I think he's on to me.

Q: If you need an appointment with a high ranking executive,

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