by Mona Gallagher

Created on: August 15, 2007

Every teen wants to fit in. Belonging is a basic desire of all human beings, from infancy and all throughout life. To be set apart from the crowd is lonely and heartbreaking especially in the teen years when personal identity is being established.

Supportive families that set healthy boundaries, and make it a point to build character in their children, provide the foundation for the teens ability to make the right choices. When it comes to peer pressure, however, the forces are very powerful, and it's very difficult to overcome. It's easier to follow the crowd in order to fit in.

At about the age of 14, teens start to separate from parents emotionally in an effort to establish their own identity. Peer pressure takes on an added importance as leaders set the tone in the social stratosphere at school. Who can resist that kind of pressure? We see the same behavior in some adults.

If teens are left to stand against peer pressure, without emotional and social support, the result can be tragic. Close connections with others who share similar belief systems are needful if your teen intends to remain the person she or he wants to be. Not all teens are looking for alcohol and sexual experiences.

For teen: Find other teens that will let you, be you, without trying to change you.

Having dreams and goals can help you move forward without missing your target. If possible find other teens that share your dreams and vision for life. Join clubs and workshops that put you in contact with lots of other teens who share your interests.

Learn to set healthy boundaries in your life. Boundaries work like a fence to keep the negative influence out, but they have a gate that allows the good things ito enter.

Open defiance sometimes comes with some teens through their growing pains. Teens, peer pressure, broken hearts and separating from mom and dad are all part and parcel of the teen years.

Today's busy family has little time to gather together for a meal. Work, school and community activities and homework sweep away family time. Do your best to stay connected with people who care about you.

Source:
Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

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