by Betty Rodman

Created on: August 15, 2007

A teenager wants and needs guidelines set by their parents. A curfew should reflect your family values as well as fit within the norms of society. This does not mean that if everybody is staying out until 5:00 a.m. that you have to go along with it too. Teens expect reasonable and fair control from their parents

Whenever parents are too lenient or afraid to be responsible, this will translate to the teen as you don't care. Many parents are afraid to assert parental authority for fear of not being loved or liked. This is called weak parenting. So often, the only thing that keeps a teen from yielding to peer pressure to act in appropriately is your expectation of them. Good judgment is something that develops over time with your help.

Teens are glad to have a curfew, because they are unsure as to what time they should come home. They will stay out later than they want to for fear of being labeled a baby by their peers. There is safety sometimes in being able to state when they have to be home; even if they get teased. Curfew that is met by your teen is a guideline for the parent to measure the maturity of their teen. The more a teen is willing to live by rules the more flexible a parent can become. Curfew is a tool that allows a parent to gently release their teen into the world without fear of loss of control.

If you are a respectful, caring parent, you should have no problems setting and enforcing curfew. If curfew is missed, do not go berserk. There could be a very good reason. A good reason does not require a loss of privileges, but a blatant noncompliance does. A teen without a curfew is lost. Start setting curfew before the teen years. Build a bond of trust with your teens and they will not want to let you down. Begin letting go of curfew around age eighteen. It's time to just trust. You should always know where they are going and who they are with as long as they live under your roof.

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