20 Billion dollars for an upgrade to air traffic control that would make all the planes run on time? Why, we can't do that, that's almost 6 more months in Iraq!

And what about all the money we need to spend on roads and bridges? Having all the bridges checked would cost as much as a day in Iraq. We need to subdue them so we can build them new bridges, roads and airports. Why those people don't have jobs! We need to sacrifice as much as we can. It's America's duty to help its neighbor...no matter how far away. We must let our own infrastructure crumble. Our own people must do without jobs and health-care so that the people of Iraq can one day have better lives.

No matter how much they don't want us there. No matter how much the rest of the world disapproves and no matter how many of our own sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers and mothers who are in the armed forces may die. We must eliminate our own freedoms for safety. We must pay more for gasoline and milk! We must, no we will! pay 6 dollars a gallon for orange juice so that the people of Iraq can have better lives, if that's what it takes!

We've got to bring peace to the middle east even if we have to kill every man, woman and child there to do it!

Now, I hear some of you accusing the big oil companies of price gouging. Saying that they are making too much profit. This is America! There's no such thing as too much profit! Sure, record high gas prices have also caused record high profits for the big oil companies. That's not bad, that's good! What's good for big business is good for America! They say that the high prices are caused by a lack of oil refineries. But that's just PR spin. They are making lots of money BECAUSE they raised prices. High gas prices are good for all of us. The farmer gets to charge more taking food to the market because of gas. It means that transportation costs have gone up across the board. But higher prices mean more money for big business, and how can that be anything but good for America?

Also, global warming doesn't exist, and if it did, it would be a good thing. When the oceans rise there will be more beach-front property available for everyone. The places that will be underwater, like Miami and LA, are full of criminals, commies and foreigners. It's will be a good thing when those places are underwater. Why, look at how good Katrina was for New Orleans. All the poor people left and didn't come back.

All that new beach-front property will be cheap because of all the people who have defaulted on sub-prime mortgages because of the debt they have. Debt is good, people. It makes the banks richer. 25% interest on a credit card balance is good for the banks, the credit reporting agencies, repo men, collection agents...why whenever you default on a loan you give jobs to 20 or more people!

When you can't make the house payment, that's a good thing, too. It means that rich people will be able to buy those houses in foreclosure for pennies on the dollar. They they will rent them back to the people that defaulted on the loan in the first place. See? It's a win-win situation for everyone.

If you don't agree then you are an enemy of freedom! You poor deluded liberals, why do you hate America?

Learn more about this author, Maxwell Hammer.
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