by Todd Daigneault

Created on: August 13, 2007

Don't rush into a relationship looking to replace your ex-partner with a new prospect for marriage. A common thing that happens to lots of divorced men: they are seeking a replacement, either consciously or subconsciously (after all your mind wants you to be happy!). Some divorced dads have been with a partner for many years-they are used to somebody being there, everyday, all of the time.

It's not necessarily an unhealthy thing to look for a new lifetime mate. But a divorced dad should take his time and look around. Just jumping into a new marriage with a woman who has your ex-partner's blue eyes and dimple could be catastrophic for the both of you, leading to intense hurt. Take your time to get to know a prospective soulmate (from a number of prospective soulmates). You may think you've clicked on the right person, partially out of your longing to be with somebody. But obviously you didn't. Sometimes there is an instant connection, but for you, the divorced dad, you should take your time to make sure it's for real and not just those impulses from your mind to fill the 'gap' in your love life. You'll know soon enough.

After you have established a long-term relationship with somebody else, you may face some jealousies and resentments from your kids and ex-partner. It's a very natural thing. After all, your kids are used to seeing you with their mother. And your wife, even though she divorced you, may feel some initial resentments in seeing you with somebody new. Talk to your kids, introduce your new partner to them, let them get to know your new partner. In time, the kids accept the new relationship, and your ex-partner has moved on-with the two of you as very good and intimate friends. Also, you may feel some initial resentments in seeing your ex with somebody new. All of these are healthy emotions and are part of the process.

Other tips include not dating your ex-partner's friends. Don't do things out of spite. It can only lead to problems for everybody concerned. Additionally, some people are scared to get back into the dating game. They might be out of synch with the dating game and feel awkward and clumsy. In time, it will all come back to them. It's okay to feel shy and awkward, even though you may have had five kids in a previous relationship. But it will all just take time to get back into the dating game. The initial shyness and awkwardness can even be a good selling point for some relationships. People may appreciate other people who do not come on strongly; they have more down-to-earth qualities.

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