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Learn your instant messaging lingo

by Zekey

Being in a forum, chatroom, or instant messenger for the first time can be a spooky experience. With the internet being it's own little world, it has developed it's own cultures and thus, it's own language.
Here I have constructed the most used bits of lingo for those who don't what they mean, including their definition.

I'll start with the more popular ones and then go into less used more niche terms.

"lol" - I am laughing out loud at your witty comedy.

"Lmao" - I have laughed so hard, that my anus has unhinged itself from my rectum and clattered to the floor.

"rofl" - I am laughing so hard that I am rolling across the carpet, yet my arms are long enough that I can still type this from down here on the floor.

"lulz" - I am laughing at you and not with you. Take that, you harlot!

"wtf" - I do not know what it is you are babbling about. I am both surprised, disturbed, and angry at my overall confusion! Please make more sense or go away.

"omg" - oh dear merciful christ! what has happened? I am astonished!

"zomg" - Oh you silly goose!

"bbq

":(""> - I am out of things to say, but shall continue to type.

- you have crushed my soul with your harsh words. I grieve.

":V

">:(""> - wark! I have become the infamous video game bird horse!

- I am rather angry

">:C" - I am bubbling over with unbridled rage

"fail" - You have disappointed us all by not achieving your goal.

"epic" - well done. You have exceeded expectations!

"afk" - I have more important things to do than talk right now. I am off, having a life. I may return shortly.

"brb" - Nature is calling and I must visit the restroom. My return will be swift.

"unf

"lolwut" - I am laughing and yet cautiously unaware of what exactly is happening.

"u" - I am too lazy to write a three letter word. Please shake your head in disbelief.

"sauce" - I love what you have shown me, but I know not from where it came. Answers are needed.

"k" - I agree but not enough to warrant a longer response. Good day.

"ogm" - I am so confused and surprised my mind has shut itself off.

"\o/" - I am happy and shall wave my arms with glee.

"ftw" - This is wonderful and I declare it the best of all!

"btw" - By the way, I have something else to tell you of great importance!

"a/s/l" - I am a horrible person who wishes to stalk you in the dead of night.

"tl:dr""> - I care not. And I make this grunting sound so show my apathy.

- You have written far too much for my puny mind to comprehend, so I shall rebel by showing how little I care by writing this response. HA!

"bbl" - I must go on a grandiose trip. My date of return is uncertain.

"fts" - fudge this shat!

"ffs" - for fudge sakes!

"fu" - I loathe your existence and pray for a long and painful death for you.

"imo" - I have something aggravating to say.

"tbh" - I am going to relinquish upon you a morsel of thought.

"ty" - my thanks knows no bounds.

"wtg" - you have ruined it for us all. This is my cynical way of thanking you for wrecking everyone's fun. Well done, sir.



I hope this has helped make your internet experience a bit easier to follow.

Good day!

Learn more about this author, Zekey.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


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