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There are players and then there are players. Some are good at their game. Some are blatantly obvious about their game and are easy to weed out. The "professionals" can draw you in very convincingly.

Remember that a player is out for themselves. They use manipulation and games to get what they want, even if the methods come across as kind and attentive. The player often makes you feel that you are the most wonderful person they've ever met, more so in words than actions. No one before you has come close to being their perfect match. They'll point out how your eyes sparkle under the moonlight; how soothing your voice is - the things that melt your heart. What they generally lack is constructive conversation in genuinely getting to know you.

A player often makes big promises, but has many excuses for not coming through. The excuses may even seem legitimate at times, until you realize the excuses become a habit. Sometimes they build their game up so high that they can't even keep up. Watch for signs such as refusing to give a phone number, not calling at certain times or only being available on certain days. The player may be married or in a relationship. The player tends to move fast. If they talk too serious too soon, they very well may be a player.

Even though a player may seem like the giving type at first, you'll soon find you are doing all the giving. A player is often vague about their life, their going-ons. They evade questions and often change the subject. They may even try to convince you that mystery is a good thing. They may avoid conversations about major life experiences because they want to get down to their agenda. They don't want to waste time with anything of substance.

A player often keeps you away from their friends, their home. They want to be on your turf because they are stealing from your life, not wanting to include you in theirs. In the presence of a player, you'll feel that something is missing. Even though their words are enchanting, something feels off.

Don't be drawn in by charm and pretty words. Use logic and don't make excuses for someone when there are none. Don't settle for a game when you deserve someone real. Pay attention to the red flags and say NEXT!

Learn more about this author, Kathy D.
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