by Annetta Ribken

Created on: August 12, 2007   Last Updated: August 13, 2007

It's a sad fact of life the older you get, the stranger your hair growing patterns. It's another factor of growing older that's totally out of control, but women especially are on a mission to eradicate or otherwise tame wild hair.

Here is a list of the known hair removal processes and what you can expect.

1. Shaving: the old standby. Benefits include immediate results, the convenience of hair removal in the shower/bath, and razors are still relatively cheap. Drawbacks: stubble, the threat of sharp edges near tender bits; the temptation to shave every hair from your body once you start shaving. Myth debunked: it's said hair grows in "thicker" or "darker" once shaved, but in fact the hair just *feels* thicker because it's cut off at the surface of the skin. It's really no thicker or darker than when you started. That's the aging paranoia talking.

2. Waxing: Benefits: quick and neat, except for those cloths or plastic strips matted with hair. The hair is ripped out by the roots, and generally grows back in at a slower rate, lighter and thinner. Drawbacks: Pain. Lots and lots of pain, with a lingering sensation similar to flaming sunburn. There can be residual red marks looking like clown paint should you wax your eyebrows, lips and chin. Count on 24 to 48 hours for the marks to fade, or be prepared to explain why you look like Ronald McDonald. There's also a lot of area to cover when waxing; keep that in mind, too. I have not experienced a Brazilian bikini wax. That holds as much attraction for me as a sharp razor next to my tender bits.

3. Delipatories: the chemical destruction of unwanted hair. Benefits: one shot and you are hair free and smooth as an eight-ball. It can get to hard-to-reach places, but it is not recommended for any tender bits. Drawbacks: it's stinky and it burns if left on past the recommended time allotted. Since it too, takes hair off at skin level, you'll have stubble to contend with. There will be a rubbery feel to your skin when you wash the stuff off, and a lingering aroma reminiscent of the Love Canal.

For large areas, your best bet is to shave. Small areas, wax, and if you have a death wish, try the delipatories.

Or, you can stay the way nature intended and just be a hairy monkey.

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