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Self Esteem is derived from many factors. If a child lives with ridicule, degradation and insults at home, that child never learns to defend against it in high school or in life. Building a teen's self esteem starts at birth, and continues through every facet and milestone in their life.

Trauma undermines self worth and self esteem, for often times a child will blame themselves for being the victim. It becomes a life long problem when family members, parents, and other adults blame them as well or ridicule them for talking about it or worse, do not believe them. Abuse is the reason for low self esteem and self worth of a child, a teen or an adult.

Verbally abusive parents, teachers, family members also play a large role in this as well as older siblings. If a child is told every day of their life that they are ugly, worthless, and unworthy of praise, they will become so. Those who play on a young person's emotions do more damage to the psyche than most can overcome. The saddest part of all is unlike physical abuse, emotional, mental, sexual and verbal abuse is not seen by bruises or broken bones. As such it is never healed and children grow into teens and into adults with no self worth at all. Then as an adult, no one wants to talk about it, or hear about it, and they are ridiculed and humiliated even more.

As a child who was called 'little ugly' all my life by my older brother and my kindergarten teacher on my first day, with a background of sexual, verbal, emotional, spiritual, and physical abuse all of my life, by family members and strangers, I was lucky to become confident in anything. I beat the odds. I was voted least likely to succeed by my entire family. Anything that my peers and teachers in Junior High or High School said or did just convinced me that my family was right.

In conclusion; my self esteem came from those few who believed in me and gave me praise, they were not my family but complete strangers that looked at my resume and said; "You're hired and we'll give you what you're asking for in pay." It also came from my own soul searching and accomplishments in spite, (almost in complete defiance) of the people who tried to break my spirit.

Any time you praise a child or teen who is down on themselves or say or do something to give them hope, believe in them, or lift their estimation of themselves, no matter who you are to them, you give them another inch at having a full yard to acquire the confidence to demand respect from anyone.

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