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In order to understand the danger of arranged marriages, one should watch a recent English movie called "Provoked". It stars leading Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai as an uneducated and timid wife from Punjab, who goes to live with her husband in London. Unable to bear the brutality and repeated rapes by her alcoholic husband, the battered mother of two sets him on fire and kills him!

Some may say that this is a remote case or that in this day and age such incidents are hard to come by. But the truth is that such cases are still heard of in this modern age.

This marriage was arranged by parents who had no idea of what the groom was like away from home. His educational qualification and residence in a foreign land were the key prerequisites to judge him. In those days I could understand that there were no ways to check on the characters of potential grooms. However these days, with more avenues being available, parents still make the grave mistake of pushing out their daughters to strangers.

Love is not something that cannot be bought,arranged nor is it based on material benefits. It is the inner deep feeling of belonging that calls unto your mind and soul. It is the instantaneous emotion which strikes a person upon meeting a person of the opposite gender. When that emotion strikes you, you will know for sure that he or she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. This feeling when established over time will strengthen the bond between a man and a woman. This is when the marriage is a success and life becomes blissful.

In arranged marriages, there is no time to develop such feelings nor is there time to understand each other to determine what it is that ticks between the man and woman so much that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, be it sickness or happiness. You have a chat with your groom-to-be or bride-to-be for a few days, perhaps a few months and then you are supposed to get married. In those few days or few months, there is no way that you can assess one's character.

In short, the risks in arranged marriages are far more detrimental than in love marriages and so for this modern society it is definitely outdated.

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