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How future fathers can help during the pregnancy

Take it from a woman who has been pregnant three times now, being the father to an unborn child is plenty of work.
Granted, you aren't the one experiencing the weight gain, the morning sickness, or the acid reflux...but you definitely reap the benefits of those symptoms. Your wife is going to become a completely different woman and you need to show her that you love that woman just as much (if not more). A few pointers:

* When she starts acting insane over something simple like the TV remote not working, don't tell her she's acting insane! You have two choices here. Either calmly try and help her figure out what's wrong with the stupid remote, or freak out WITH her. She is going through so many hormonal changes right now and can't always keep her cool. Help her through that.

* Offer back/foot rubs often. This shows your wife that, not only do you notice her discomfort, but that you care about it and want to help ease it. This will make her heart feel good as well.

* Make sure you tell her how beautiful she is. A pregnant woman feels anything but beautiful when she looks in the mirror. She sees acne, stretch marks, and fat rolls. Show her that you think all that stuff is sexy. Remind her that what she is going through means something beautiful, and explain to her how proud you are of her.

* Get excited with your wife, even if most things aren't all that exciting to you. For instance, the nursery. Maybe you don't really care what color theme to use, or if the picture frames match the light fixtures. Get excited about it anyways. Offer to build a little shelf in the nursery, or do the painting yourself so she doesn't strain her back.

* This one is pretty important. Pregnant women tend to feel like they are going through the whole pregnancy thing alone, and that the men get off easy. There are suddenly so many things that women can't do anymore. The best, and most amazing, things a man can do during this time is to give those things up as well. For example, smoking. If you both are smokers and your wife becomes pregnant- quit smoking with her. Or, if you are both social drinkers- quit drinking with her. There are plenty of things that can go on this list. Hey, if she has to stop...why shouldn't you?

Here are a couple things you should make sure you DON'T do:
- Don't point out a new stretch mark.
- Don't imply that she is getting 'big'.
- Don't get upset when she's 'not in the mood'.
- Don't even consider not being in the room when she delivers.
- Don't suggest that she must be 'extra hormonal today'.
- Don't take her food.

And last, but not least, a little advice for the delivery.
Your wife may become nut-case for a few hours, with good cause. Expect this. Try to be helpful by holding her hand and letting her squeeze it to death. Feed her ice chips and wipe her brow with a cold cloth. Pay no attention to the horrible things she might say to you, as she blames you for the pain she is in. Take the blame. Even apologize. Tell her how great she is doing and how proud you are of her. And most of all, acknowledge that what she is doing really is a pretty amazing thing. Don't worry, within seconds of your new baby being born, you'll have your wife back. And then some.

Learn more about this author, Erin Kathleen.
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Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

How future fathers can help during the pregnancy

  • 1 of 18

    by Erin Kathleen

    Take it from a woman who has been pregnant three times now, being the father to an unborn child is plenty of work.
    Granted,

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    As a woman and a mother of four I feel that maybe I come close to being an expert to what we women expect from our babies

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    by Matthew Marlow

    I am very please to announce the conception of our fourth child. I remember well when I emphatically told my wife that we

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    by Mark E Christensen

    I had married a very independent woman. After she became pregnant all that followed was my fault. The morning sickness, the

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How future fathers can help during the pregnancy

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