by Richard Serra

Created on: August 09, 2007

Following a divorce quite often the feeling of having to fill the void that is left is such that it makes one feel as though they must find someone as quickly as possible so as to lessen the associated feelings one gets after a divorce.

Dating soon after a divorce can be an experience in frustration as anyone who has been there can tell you. It's a lot different than before the marriage in that you were free of excess baggage, and by that I mean carrying the remnants of the marriage, support payments, alimony, and all the depression that follows etc.

So what's to do for a dad who carries this entire load with him in his new single life when it comes to dating again? Well for starters resist the temptation to go into detail about all you left behind as it is natural for one to be able to pour out their hearts to who ever would listen.

Instead, leave it all behind and only address what may be asked of you by your date. When answering any questions, be positive and up beat so that you do not encourage either a feeling of compassion or her wanting to bolt through the next exit. After all, this should be a new experience for you and the person you date, and to provide a history of details in the beginning leaves room for being rejected.

Try not to look for someone as a replacement, but rather a stepping stone for building a stronger resistance to feeling depressed most of the time. Women naturally tend to feel compassion and want to tend to your wounds, but this is not what a date is intended for.

Both need to be free to explore each others bright side so as to enjoy what each has to offer that is free of anything that may bring on some kind of therapy session. When feelings begin to develop and it appears that there is an interest in delving into the details of your divorce, you don't risk losing a possible good relationship by unloading all your troubles before you even get to know the person.

Remember, there are millions of divorced dads out there who are looking for the same thing, and when a woman comes across one, she realizes that unless there is something very special about you, it would be easier to date someone who has no baggage.

Let her see all the good things about you so that she has an inventory of great qualities that will enable her to deal with what ever your divorce will mean to her if she decides to stick with you. Gradually introduce her to what she may face down the road a little at a time so that she can build up her ability to decide that you are

• 1
• 2
• Next Page >>