So this is an age-old topic that has been discussed and handled countless times. Surely nearly everyone goes through the drama and the sort of things that put friendships in jeopardy between a guy and a girl. The issue I specifically wish to address is whether you should tell the other party you have feelings for them or not. Is it worth the risk?

The whole matter comes down to whether or not you are willing to risk a valuable friendship or not for the possibility of it going beyond that into a romantic relationship. Platonic relationships are very valuable in that you can gain a lot of insight from someone of the opposite sex. In other words, a girl is going to listen to a guy a lot better than a guy is going to listen to a guy. A guy is going to try and make issues a lot more simple and a girl will complicate it. Thus it's important to have both perspectives. All this to say, if you truly value your friendship then you will think long and hard about whether or not it is something that you want to do.

Also, it is necessary to really consider whether or not there is the possible reciprocation of the feelings that you have. Be careful not to look into things too much though or one can convince themselves of what they want to see.

A definite warning is to not say anything to the person when they are already in a romantic relationship with someone else. Many may argue against this because honesty is a very good thing in a relationship and can bring people closer together. Yet, I pose the question: what is the purpose of this? What is the "friend" supposed to do with this newfound knowledge? They cannot just drop who they are dating and pursue a new relationship just on that. Personally, this seems as if it is only to confuse the other party and make them wonder how they are supposed to react. It also can make it simply awkward and hard for you to be open with each other. How can you interact the same way when you are afraid of leading the other on? On the other hand, one can be especially aware and careful not to do this. I fear though that this opens up temptations to take advantage of one another when weak or vulnerable.

I also think that there are to be boundaries in a platonic friendship. There is only so far that you can go before you cross intimacy that is meant for the person's partner. This can in fact be robbing the relationship of intimacy and can cause problems. For if you are open with your close friend and not open with your girlfriend/boyfriend then the relationship is hurting. I think that it is the responsibility of both parties to understand and respect this especially if they value each other as people.

Learn more about this author, Ryan Fitzstevens.
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