by Linda Steinbiser

Created on: August 08, 2007

My daughter was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia 10 years ago. Seven years ago I was diagnosed only because she was sure I had the same thing. I found a Rheumatologist that gave me the oddest examination I had ever had. He came in and told me not to talk unless he asked for a specific answer. He would do the exam, go out and read my chart, and then come in and I could tell him what I was feeling. He came back in and told me I had Fibromyalgia but if I wanted to ask him questions to feel free to do so.

I came home and started looking up medical sites on the Internet, dragged out my medical books, and came up with some very interesting findings. Some stated that it was caused by a major physical happening in your life such as a car accident or physical abuse. Some stated that it was genetically transfered. And some gave no reason at all. But, worst of all, some claimed it was psychological and didn't exist.

Along with the knowledge of what causes (?) this disease were the many other diseases that seem to accompany it. It's like getting a four for one sale except you don't want any of it. It's not suppose to get worse but whoever wrote that has never had Fibro. You lose facts about life that you have known for years so you feel as though you have Alzheimer's. Your hands and wrists feel worse than if they had been broken while lifting something under five pounds. My top part is more painful than my daughter's...her hips and legs are worse than mine.

Friends have had to come and help me and have said later that they had no idea how much pain there was involved. And while some days are almost "normal", they are few and far between. If you have ever watched "Braveheart", at the end, they have him tied down and are literally pulling him apart in all directions until he is dead. This is how it feels most days, like something is inside you, trying to pull you apart. The good news is that it is not fatal but there are so very many days you wish it was.

As your body and mind let you down, depression sets in. While I have been in a wheelchair for years with a leg amputation, broken and crushed vertebrae, pacemaker, and blood, liver, and kidney problems, I could at least sew or crochet or do other crafts. Now it has gotten to the point that the doctor begged me not to even try to do anything like that and let my body rest for a while. And even though the pain is not as bad this way, the depression is so much worse.

My sitting and doing nothing scares my son to death. He had never

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