by Devin Harris

Created on: August 08, 2007

It seems like today, everywhere you look children are being allowed to behave in unhealthy and inappropriate ways while their parents stand idly by, catching up on the celebrity gossip headlines of a magazine rack. It's probably not the case that these parents have never tried to curb their children's behavior- it's just that they never learned how. The harsh truth of the matter is that the ways you reward and punish your child can have lasting effects on the ways they conduct themselves; the good news is that unwanted behavior can be reversible.

What many people don't seem to realize is that many behaviors, both good and bad, are learned. Children may mimic what they see, which are frequently the actions of their parents. However, in this day and age, children may more often make observations of the television than their parents. This does not excuse the prevalence of misbehavior among such kids. Parents still hold the power, regardless of whether or not they manage everything their children see.

It is simply a matter of how parents react to the behavior their children exhibit- researching the methods of Pavlovian conditioning shows that much. When a child acts a certain way, parents can either give reinforcements or punishments for that particular behavior. Usually, reinforcements in these circumstances are things like praise or some kind of reward; punishments can be simply the removal of a privilege, or something as drastic as spanking. The problem is that parents are unaware of when they provide reinforcements for behavior that they want to get rid of!

For example, a small child at a supermarket with his mother may see candy on the check-out aisle. When the child asks for candy and has his request refused, he may begin to cry- understandably, since children are often given more attention when they exhibit this behavior, therefore reinforcing it. The parent may attempt to refuse the candy again, and the child's misbehavior increases in something known as an extinction burst. This particular term describes what happens when reinforcements of a behavior are taken away, which is the first step to getting rid of an unwanted action. What parents should do at this point is to stay resolved and not buy into the tantrum. However, when this occurs in a public setting, many parents become embarrassed by their child's actions and give them the candy; this both prevents the extinction of the misbehavior, and reinforces its continuance.

The most important thing parents can do is to be aware of their children's behavior and to regulate certain responses to it. Punishments work to an extent, but there has been some research that shows that they can actually reinforce the misbehavior; therefore, when a child is misbehaving, except for extreme circumstances where their behavior may put them in some kind of danger, it seems most beneficial for parents to simply ignore. However, for healthy and desired behaviors, reasonable rewards can do wonders in reinforcing them and making a child more likely to continue to act in these appropriate manners. While it's important not to reward behaviors too frequently, which can cause children to desire incentives for actions that should be expected of them, this is highly effective in teaching children the appropriate ways that they must conduct themselves in society.

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