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In the Early eighties my mother suffered a stroke after attending a funeral. Mom developed dementia, and many other health problems. Several family members helped care for mom including me. After a time some members just could no longer do so for various reasons. Momma suffered the stroke near Easter of 1983, She was hospitalized, in rehab, then in intensive care. The thing that stands out in my mind was how many people wanted to take control of my mom's health care. I was living with my mom and dad at that time and we were especially close. It was a very sad time for us and especially sad for her. The most difficult aspect of looking after mom was the interference of others, who could not see that we had established a routine that suited us and that mom was in control of her own life. Everyone agreed that we were taking good care of mom, though many neighbors and cousins tried too hard to interfere and we had to tell them in the end that we could manage without them. What I noticed most at this time was how people become toxic and how relationships change for the worst. We were better off with those kind of people out of our lives and during the period of mom's illness the worst aspect was getting rid of people who were, for their own agendas, trying to take over. In the nineties, my dad had a stroke and then a total stroke, leaving him with speech and motor difficulties. Again, people tried to interfere and impose their wishes on our lives.when Mom was ill dad had all his business affairs put in order and I was given Power of Attorney and great elder care helpers and clergy who were there for us and helped us through difficult times. When the care plan was put in place, it was not easy. Life never is, is it ? Mom and dad loved and cared for us and as all the health issues occurred, it seemed natural to do whatever I could for them. I did all that I could for them and we did our best to keep negative people away from our lives, as it was easier to get on with caring and letting him live without the negative impact of others. When dad developed dementia, which soon became full alzheimers, he was never able to walk again, and we had a wheelchair and a special bed, and the house was equipped with special equipment. Dad lived for 5 years after the stroke and died on 25th May,2002. 15 days after his 90th birthday.He had always said that he would leave this world near a holiday and it was ironic that he did. When one decides to caare for someone that you know is dying, you do it with all your heart and soul, and make sure that your loved one has their dignity intact and that they are respected in their home, and love them enough to care, regardless of personal hardship to yourself. Looking at the kind of people who tried to interfere, it was almost as if my father's care was becoming a popularity contest. I am a decent believer in God and the word and the holy spirit, and during these times, my belief was the rock I clinged to and which kept me strong. No matter what you go through in your life, if you can be true to your beliefs, they will help you through the trials that are presented during your life, and help you to come out of the other side of it as a stronger person.

Learn more about this author, Lester Nixon.
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