by Jessica Grant

Created on: August 06, 2007

Time out. I would have loved to hear those words after misbehaving when I was a child.

I believe that is what is wrong with children today. (Now I sound like my grandmother). I first would like to say that I remember when I was younger, you knew the consequences of your actions and you feared them. That is what made them consequences. Time out, what a consequence. I have to go sit down for a few minutes.

Now, I have heard one compelling argument, that you take away something of value to them. That may work, but I think that works better (1) with older kids, like teenagers and (2) if the parent actually follows through with it.

I once asked a mother of a toddler that didn't believe in spanking or hitting, what would you do if your child was trying to put their finger in a light socket? She replied that she would say "no" and explain to the child that they could get hurt and just keep the child away from it.

One problem I see is that a toddler, at least my toddler, cannot possibly be reasoned with because they don't have that ability yet. I can explain until I am blue in the face that it is dangerous and she will head right for it when I am not looking. Which brings me to my second point, that her way may have stopped her baby at that time, but what about the next time if she isn't looking for a second? My way is that when my daughter is headed for an outlet, I smack her hand. Not hard, just hard enough that she gets the point. The message sent is, if I touch this, I get hurt. Now, if she goes near one, she just looks at me and moves on past it. Does she fear me, maybe a little. Does she still adore me because I am her mother, absolutely. I don't always spank or hit her, I love her, she is my daughter.

When I was growing up, if you were disrespectful to a teacher, the consequences were "cracks". Now, many people were against this because they believe that children should be punished at home. For example, my mother in law said that if my husband ever did anything that warranted "cracks" she told the school she was to be notified and she would punish him. He told me that he dreaded what would happen at home more! I am ok with this notion if the parent is going to discipline the child. The problem is that many parents, sad to say, just don't.

What ever happened to the mindset of "it takes a village"? We as parents also need to stick together. When I was younger, if I did something wrong when my mother wasn't home, you better believe that my neighbor was waiting to tell her as soon as she got there. Now, parents get offended and tell the other people to mind their own business. Well, I'm sorry, but if your child is disrespecting me or my children, it is my business. If you want to know why a child acts the way they do, follow them home.

The children are getting worse and worse and I hate to use the saying but "the children are our future." These are the people who will be running this country when we are elderly. If they have no respect for us now, where will we be in the future.

To summarize, am I in favor of abusing a child? No! Do I believe that spanking them at a young age teaches them to respect their elders? Yes.

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