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Prejudice and bullying are neurologically inevitable. According to evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar, the human brain can only recognize a maximum of 150 people as fellow human beings. This is our tribe: our family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. Beyond this number, keeping the rules of interaction straight becomes too complex for us. We also feel an instinctive need to secure resources for our own tribe, even if this means denying access to other tribes. We therefore resort to stereotyping and other forms of propaganda to dehumanize other people in other tribes. Our brains evolved to repeat the survival-oriented adaptations of our predecessors, and this means that even in the context of the so-called global village, we retain tribal prejudice.

As social animals, we need to feel as if we serve a purpose in a specific tribe. To some extent we all want to be labeled, assuming the label assigns us a specific role. This is part of why bullying and prejudice provoke so much anxiety. If an insult is repeated often enough, the insulted person begins to wonder if there isn't some element of truth in it. If, for example, I had a boss who repeatedly insinuated that I wasn't making the same contribution to the company as my co-workers (by labeling me Mr. Slacker or Sir Slacks-a-Lot, or something like that), a primitive part of my brain would signal that I was in danger, even if the situation was only as dangerous as possibly losing a job. The reason for the danger-signal would be an ancient memory of a tribal organization that killed off or abandoned weak or otherwise useless members: to this primitive part of the human brain, belonging to a tribe and making an important contribution is a matter of life and death. Without the support of our tribe, we're left defenseless, out in the open amongst predators and fierce competition for vital resources.

So what's the solution to all this instinctive conflict and anxiety? There is no overriding solution to human nature, but certain unpleasant situations can be remedied or avoided altogether. If you find yourself being bullied by someone, the first thing you should do is assess whether or not this person is insane. Insane people thrive on conflict, and there's nothing to be gained by standing up to them. (I'm using insane in the colloquial sense, to describe people with poor social skills, not to signify people with real mental illness.) If the bully is not insane, stand up to them. Scare them senseless, if at all possible.

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