Self improvement? Two years ago these words did not mean anything to me. I knew what it was but how does one do it? I battled with myself everyday for a long time. I finally figured out how self improvement really works. The hardest step is the first one you have to take. In my case it was looking into the mirror and seeing myself for who I am. Back then if I made a mistake or hurt someone I would just pretend it didn't happen. The first step was the hardest for me. I had to realize that I did need to change my life.

After a divorce at a young age I was terrified to be alone. I hated watching tv alone or eating alone and most of all I hated sleeping alone. The second thing I had to do was love myself. My reason for not wanting to be alone was because I hated who I was but I never could figure out how to fix it. I moved away to city away from everyone and everything I knew. I forced myself to stand on my own two feet. I found hobbies to keep myself occupied. I made sure that my hobbies included solo hobbies and really exemplified my strengths so that I could show myself who I really was.

During my two year journey I had to cut out the "friends" or relatives who brought out my bad qualities or who said negative things about me and it was very difficult. Sometimes we get used to the pain and it feels normal. To cut out that pain was difficult for me. It felt abnormal. I also had to change the way I looked at myself. I felt stupid even though I wasn't. I never felt beautiful a day in my life. I made it a point to say nice things (outloud) about myself each and everyday. I made healthier relationships.

My work is not yet done. Where am I now? I love myself. I am able to spend time alone and feel content and not scared or vulnerable. I have a stability in my life that I was never able to maintain. Today when I hear the words "Self Improvement" I think to myself "Been there done that...didn't need the tee shirt to prove it"

Learn more about this author, Rebekah Mckenna.
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