by SW Garner

Created on: August 05, 2007   Last Updated: November 19, 2007

I agree with the writers perspective because I have been at death's door twice myself and once when my seventeen year old son killed himself.
Curt is his name and my former wife and I adopted him at age three months from Korea. He was a fine healthy and loving child until about age 13 when he began to developed depression. He withdrew form the world gradually by staying in his room.

When he was fourteen years old he was sexually abused by a thirty-five year old man twice. We did not find out this until Curt was 16 years old.

One day my wife and I sat down with him and I ask him if he had been abused either physically or sexually. He said sexually. He told us the mans first name but would not give the last name or any other information. I was so angry I probably killed the man with my bare hands if I could have found him. We gave the police our son's hard drive to see if they could locate the person. They found nothing.

Curt's depression deteriorated to the point he attempted suicide two times. The first attempt was an over dose of aspirin. He barely survived. I had to coerce my wife to seek psychiatric help for him because she thought he was not crazy. I finally told
her if she did not agree to getting him serious psychiatric help I would go to the magistrate and have him involuntaryly committed. So she agreed and the psyciatrist diagnosis was bipolar disorder with schioaffective tendences. He hsd the best treatment anyone could have. He finally went to his mother's parents house one Saturday and about 5:30 PM he shot himself in the head with a shotgun.

So where does God permitting suffering come into this situation, you ask?
I was always a man of faith and tried to raise my son in the ways of the Lord.
It was not his fault he developed bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It is a biological malfunction of the brains circutry and chemical imbalance.

I never blamed God for Curt's suffering. God allows suffering in our lives to enable us to grow in faith and strength to be able to endure what ever life throws at us. I survived and actually grew from Curt's illness and subsequent death. The only reason I was able to survive was I knew thAT Jesus was there with his arm around my shoulders at the darkest moments. I accepted Curt's death as Jesus gave me many gracces to be able to move on with life.

I am sorry to say my former wife did not have the abiding faith I did. Three months after we buried Curt she deserted me. I went to the foot of the Cross to offer all my pain and suffering up to God to be used alongside His Son's suffering for me and other sinners.

You may ask how does God allow suffering to affect his creation. He created us perfect then gave us Free Will to choose and make decisions for ourselves and others. Hence not only did death enter the world of man but so did the suffering that preceeds death came too.

All evil and pain and suffering that occurs in this life is the result of choices we human beings make. About ouerselves and others in our lives. God never started a war. He never droped two atomic bombs on the innocent hudreds of thousands. We did this. Hitler chose his evil because he was a man filled with pride,Poll Pot, Stalin were all driven by Power and Pride.

Jesus was there for me each time and he is there for anyone who will acknowledge his Lordship and try to follow his commandments.

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