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in 120 degree weather for the past year or so. The bastard at the counter charged us full price though knowing we were obliterated which I didn't find out until later.
We woke up during the early morning rush of everybody pushing us out of the way to get their bags hungover as all hell. Since we were up, we decided that Paris had sucked so far, so we might as well see all the sights and get the hell out of there. We grabbed our crap and started walking. Since we couldn't figure out the subway system, we decided to walk the entire beat of Paris. First the Notre Dame, then the Louvre, followed by the Jardin des Tuillieries, Eiffel Tower, blah blah blah. By this time we were tired as hell and the only thing that brought a smile to my hungover face was seeing eight people taking a leak on the Champs Elysees in less than an hour. I finally figured out why the city smelled like urine and also why there were troths on the side of the street. After the Arc du Triomph, we booked it straight for the nearest train station.

Nothing terribly exciting happened on the trip to Paris like it did in Rome (humping the Coliseum and getting drunk at the Vatican) or Salzburg (fighting four Austrian dudes then running from the police). Maybe that's why it was our least favorite city. Unless you're into looking at churches that all look the same while the smell of human excrement invades your lungs, you should see Paris for a few hours and get the hell on to a different city.

Learn more about this author, Steven Groetken.
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