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Job search: Tips for negotiating a salary

by Dr. X

Negotiating a salary with any employer is difficult. It makes you sweat and cry and plead but it's worth it. See the thing is as humans we don't really like to give away money. There are the minor exceptions, like the large donations made by celebrities, but we all know those are due to the impeccable' tax systems we all have. No one wants to give away money without getting anything in return.

So I've figure out the perfect way to get the salary you want and possibly deserve. You cut a deal with your boss. He says he wants to give you 15 an hour but in your head you think that you'd rather get 20. So you offer him this, a 25 dollar an hour job and for every hour you give him five or buy him lunch. If he looks at you in a skeptical manner tell him that you will only buy him the best.

It isn't over though; if you stare at him blankly waiting you've lost the deal, you not only look foolish but you are also giving him too much time to think. So continue talking; babble, of course, about related things so that he's still thinking about salaries just not to the extent of seeing through your little scheme. When you've exhausted him and he looks sweaty, hungery and about ready to cry, leave by saying if you want we can start today, and I'll bring you your lunch right away' ... at this moment in time he will a) be dying for you to just leave and b) likely be craving for a coffee and a buffet.

Told you negotiating a salary involves sweating, crying and pleading.

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