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All people want to surround themselves with those that show support in times of defeat, express joy in our successes, and give us a sense of acceptance, belonging, and peace. Love and relationships fulfill this basic human need in everyone's life. When family ties begin to break down, the appeal of our emotional safety blanket fades and tears begin to appear. How we choose to deal with the tears will affect everyone, including us, for the rest of our lives. Search your soul to its very depths and ask yourself many hard questions before making any decisions.

The idea of divorcing family members has been around for thousands of years. Humans have been disowning family for everything from monetary gain to disagreements over marital choice. Historically, families rarely supported unwed mothers and rape victims. Some present day cultures still imprison and stone rape victims. Many feel it is easier to walk away and ignore the tribulations waiting outside our bedroom doors.

Ponder the seriousness of the "final straw" and identify the underlying issues. Trust, honesty, and communication are often the biggest culprits in family dysfunction. What does the other person need to do to make things right? Is it possible for that other person to do? Are there things that you could change within yourself to make things go smoother? Try to come up with a list of solutions and exhaust these avenues before writing off the other person. Counselling, a one on one talk, or a mediator might be enough to work through things. Often times, people are sincere but they just are not aware of the consequences of their actions.

Children, spouses, siblings, and other family members are often caught in the middle of family battles. They do not understand why you are mad at grandma, or why uncle is not coming to visit anymore. All they know is that these people have disappeared from their lives and taken their love with them. How will you deal with family gatherings? Are you willing to accept the fact that some people will avoid you simply to avoid conflict? How will you feel when someone you hold dear disagrees with you and walks away? Try to be civil if you cannot be friendly to minimize the affect on others as much as possible.

If you choose to close the door on a family member, do not close the window. Time changes everything and people change with it. Let your loved one know why you have made the choices you have and what you want from them. This is simply not an option in the most serious of situations (attempted murder, for example), but it is worth a try. Years from now, if you renew your relationship, it will never be the same.

Never make this decision in anger without knowing all of the facts and points of views. Each time something good happens, every time you reach a new milestone, and even news of other family members will be tainted forever. Whether you have made the right or the wrong choice when divorcing family members, the affects are life long.

Learn more about this author, Angie Haggstrom.
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