by Lisa H Warren

Created on: August 03, 2007

Tips for Men Buying Lingerie for "Their Lady":

If you're headed out to the the mall or browsing online for lingerie with the idea of buying lingerie for your partner, head instead for the jewelry, flower, or sweater shop.

While men certainly should feel free to express their preferences they have no right to select such personal items for someone else, and if they're foolish enough to spend a lot of money on lingerie they need to understand there's a good chance it will remain forever in the gift box in which it came - never to be worn.

Men often mistakenly believe that buying lingerie is a way to add some spice to a relationship, but the best way to add spice to a relationship is to have enough respect for a woman not to presume to have a right to select lingerie for her. If a woman likes to wear lingerie she'll usually buy it. Victoria's Secret and other companies send their catalogs to women. Women can be seen in stores like this, shopping. Women often get together to shop for lingerie at lingerie parties. Some women like lingerie. They'll buy it for themselves. Women usually know what looks best on them. They know what size they wear. They have their preferences.

Then there are women who don't like lingerie. It isn't doing anybody any favors to give someone something they don't like. That's an insult. If a man wants to be with someone who likes lingerie they shouldn't gotten together with a woman who doesnt (but since they did they need to accept that their partner is who she is).

When a man knows that his partner likes lingerie a gift card to her favorite store may be nice. If a man knows his partner likes him to buy her lingerie he should simply ask her what size to buy and what her color preferences are. What men need to understand, though, is that for every woman who doesn't mind feeling as if her partner is acting like a "sugar daddy" who buys this kind of stuff there are many more who don't want to be seen as Barbie dolls that someone gets buy outfits for.

When it comes to even considering buying lingerie for a partner a man needs to first ask 1) Does she like it at all, 2) Would she find it offensive if he took it upon himself to buy it for her, and 3) Would this move (buying lingerie for someone)lead to his being served with divorce papers (not because he made the mistake of buying an inappropriate and unwanted gift but because he's a person who either doesn't know his partner well enough or doesn't respect her enough)?

If men really want to spice up the relationship they can do that by having respect for their wife or girlfriend and trusting that wife or girlfriend to select her own lingerie. (Also, referring to that wife or girlfriend as "wife," "girlfriend," or "fiance" will win any guy more points than calling women "their lady" ever will.)

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