2 of 20

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 2

is to follow the principal. They are paid to laugh at the lame jokes that the principal makes. Some students wait for the rare moment that the counselors visit their offices - their lunch. These poor students come in to ask advice about how to get into a good college and they receive a "good grades, good SATs." advice in the format of the "birds and bees" talk that they had with their parents while the lettuce that the counselors are eating falls from their mouths to their laps.

The office also employs a variation of child labor known as "office aids." It sounds like a disease (AIDS) predominantly found in the few corporations in Africa. Instead, it is innocent children working their backs off.. They are promised good and entertaining working conditions with a wage of high school credits. After they enroll in this program, these poor kids find themselves in a boring atmosphere filled to the brim with pedophiles. They do the mail while the pedophiles watch them. They deliver passes that the pedophiles write. They don't get health insurance, 401(k) plans, nothing. They don't even get some time off because the pedophiles glare at them. I asked one of my friends who happened to be an office aid about how it was only to receive a reply "I feel violated." That was a big incentive for me to stay out of the office altogether.

Immediately outside of the office are security guards. Of course, the term "security guard" implies guns, batons, radios, etc. But in high school, the so-called security guards are not equipped with anything besides garments. I thank Allah, Jesus, etc. because the guards are equipped with clothes otherwise I would see a rolling ball of pure fat. Yes, they truly are balls. They are perfectly spherical just like the equation x^2 + y^2 + z^2 = infinity. If you ask them what car they drive, they will say "Rolls Royce," with an emphasis on "rolls." Some might even say they roll to school and they probably do. If an office aid is currently busy, the security guards deliver the passes. If there are some rebellious students, the security guards go into the classrooms and pull them out. But their main job is to make sure students aren't roaming outside of class or cutting class. They do this very efficiently - they follow any student outside of their class around. They can be avoided, however, since they tend to play chess with students in study hall. But I didn't have such luck. I was on my way to the bathroom while one security guard stops me and asks me, "Where are you going, son?" I was especially cranky at that time and replied sarcastically, "To the bathroom, father. Why, would you like to follow me?" That was a big mistake because he replied affirmatively. Need I say that I felt violated?

Learn more about this author, Naveen K.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: High school?
We want to hear your view. Write now!