7 of 38

Write now Article Tools

There is no great mystery to staying sane as a stay-at-home mom. In fact, I can sum it up by quoting the movie The Lion King. "Remember who you are!" This couldn't be truer.

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom even before I got pregnant. I dreamed of being with my children all day, providing them with love and guidance and always being available to them. You see; I was a latch key kid. My single mom had to work a lot to support four children and I didn't want that for my kids. So we got pregnant and three children later, I was living the dream. And I began to lose my mind!

I was put on anti-depressants after my second child was born. I was so depressed and angry that the doctors chalked it up to post-partum depression. Yet there was no physical reason on earth for me to feel this way. My whole family was happy and healthy, we had a roof over heads, our bellies were full and we were surrounded by love. We lived in one of the most developed countries in the world, with every luxury at our fingertips, but I was taking stress and anger management courses. And they weren't helping.

Thankfully I have a great friend who had gone through the same struggle. And she shared with me the break through that had helped her survive with four children at home. She gently explained that I had lost myself. Somewhere along the way I went from a successful, intelligent woman to an under appreciated, underpaid mom and wife with little of myself left. I had forgotten about me. I was bored!

But how could I be bored? I was racing to and from soccer and dance practice, making five trips to the grocery store a week while being completely submerged in laundry up to my nose. I had vaccinations to contend with, play dates to arrange and dental appointments to book. Someone always needed a bandage and someone was always hungry.

But I'm not talking about physical boredom; I'm talking about mental boredom. Now some women live for this role of mom and I applaud them for their ability to see the joy in it every day. But for me, it wasn't enough. After the noses were wiped and the laundry was folded and maybe put away, I was left with nothing for me. Nothing challenged me mentally; conversations with playgroup moms always revolved around the quality of diapers nowadays and how to get the children to stop bickering. My evenings with my husband were spent talking about the youngest child's foray into toilet training or discussing carpet cleaning because the cat had puked on it once again. I went from my fourth year at university, discussing criminal psychology to comparing the merits of Barney over the Teletubbies. My brain was slowly turning to mush! I needed to act fast.

So, I joined a community choir because one of my passions was singing something more melodic than "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." And I signed up for night school. I stared taking courses that required giving my brain a good dusting and I started writing. It was a form of therapy, getting those thoughts down on paper. And it didn't cost my family any more than the paper on which it was printed.

And miraculously my family became happier because the family's mood barometer (me) was happier. I stopped taking medication because I was on it for all the wrong reasons. I treated the problem and not the symptoms. And as an added bonus, my kids got to watch me realize a dream of finishing my degree and singing in public, perhaps giving them the courage to follow their dreams too. So all the while, I'm still loving them and guiding them as their mom, but I still get to be me. The best of both worlds, I'd say. And I am officially sane again!

Learn more about this author, Dawn Graham.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about The stay-at-home mom's guide to staying sane?
We want to hear your view. Write now!