by Sonia Mcnichol

Created on: August 02, 2007   Last Updated: November 02, 2007

The first things that must come are acceptance and acknowledgment. You must accept what has happened before you can move on from it. Do not blame yourself or find someone else to blame, and don't try to find a reason for the setback. The chances are, you will be unable to pinpoint anything, and will spend hours thinking, worrying and ultimately, going round in circles. This is a waste of time and energy. Instead, accept what has happened and acknowledge the negative emotions that come with it. You are only human, and these emotions are entirely natural. But they are not useful or productive, so accept them and let them go.

Now, take a look around and make a conscious effort to notice what you still have. Loved ones are very important. Be they friends, family or pets, remember that they care about you. They may not necessarily have been through the experience with you, but they have always been there in the background, offering love and support. These people are important to you and you to them. They want to help, so try and let them. You don't have to deal with everything on your own.

Your self-confidence has probably taken a battering, so now is the time to build it up again. One of the best ways to do this is to take up a new hobby, or rekindle your interest in an old one. Perhaps there's something you always wanted to try, but never got round to it? Art? Sport? Learning to drive? Joining a group can be fun because it provides the chance to meet new people and experience new situations. However, if you don't want to, it doesn't matter. The only requirements are that you take the time to do something purely for you, and that you enjoy it.

Finally, it's important to realise what an amazing achievement you've made. Life has thrown its worst at you, but you've beaten back the blows and emerged stronger than ever. Remember this feeling, and all that you've overcome to reach where you are right now. Be thankful, because you've been to the bottom, and managed to find your way back to the top. Now, you are equipped to deal with anything.

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