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I am a first generation American and like many first generation Americans, I was raised on the belief that working hard can accomplish anything. So I worked hard. I stayed late. I produced results and gave 110% every day. When a higher-level opening became available in our department, my boss told me that I was shoe in for the position and that the announcement would be made at the end of the week. So when that Friday rolled around and another co-worker was promoted in my place, you could say that I was more than a little shocked!

Getting passed up for a promotion isn't an uncommon occurrence in the corporate world, although the blind injustice of it all devastated me at the time. After all, I did everything right. I followed my parents' advice and put my nose to the proverbial grindstone-So, why didn't I get the accolades that I deserved?

After I found out that I wouldn't be moving up the ladder, I sat down and had a long conversation with a more seasoned colleague that I had come to regard as a mentor. He asked me what I was really upset about. Was it the fact that the person chosen for the position had less experience? Was it that I felt undervalued and unappreciated? Was it because I constantly had to clean up her mistakes? Sure, it was all of those things, but there was a deeper reason for my anger.

Here's the rub-I had actually expected the company to vindicate me on an emotional level and validate my merit not only as an employee, but also as a human being. I had invested so much of myself into this job, that their rejection had a truly detrimental affect on my self-esteem.

Looking back many years later, having now fully entrenched myself in corporate America, my sense of wounded innocence was almost comical. Nonetheless, that experience was one of the most defining moments of my life. I learned the hard way that you don't always get what you deserve no matter how hard you work.

Although it's taken me a while, I've developed an almost Zen like approach to work. I still put my best efforts forward because not to do so would be a betrayal of my core principles. While I do put myself in a position to be acknowledged, I'm not destroyed if it doesn't happen. My close friends and family are the only ones that have that much influence over my emotional life. I no longer let some corporate entity define my self worth.

The summation of what I've learned is this-All of the meetings, reports and endless minutia that seem so critical now will become a faded memory in five or ten years time. Give your work life the due importance it deserves but don't become consumed by it. After all, it's only a job.

Learn more about this author, Andrea Pellettiere.
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