by Kathryn Jones

Created on: August 01, 2007   Last Updated: September 14, 2011

Let's face it, job hunting is not our favorite pastime. It's hard to avoid getting discouraged when your carefully crafted plans to dazzle potential employers seem to be fizzling. Whether it is having your resume turned down for the umpteenth time, or experiencing an unnerving job interview, the answer is the same. You need to build your confidence back up in order to correct your course and feel good about yourself again. But how can you do this?

If you have done the work to put together a good self-promotion package with your resume, cover letter and interview skills, it is likely just a matter of time before the opportunity you've been looking for comes through. But meanwhile, you can work on your defeating negative thoughts that may be holding you back - those vague misgivings in the back of your mind that are basically groundless.

Bring these thought vampires out into the open. They won't be able to exist in the light of day. Try focusing in on exactly what they are. One by one, formulate statements that express those negative thoughts so you can counter them with positive statements and restore your confidence. Here are a few examples:

1. In some indefinable way, I'm just not good enough to get a good job.
No, not true. This is just your discouraged emotions talking, this is not based on fact. Restate your job skills to yourself and you will remember how much you have going for you.

2. I'm not trying hard enough to find work.
Most likely you are trying too hard to the point of burnout. Don't be so tough on yourself. Take some time to relax and be sure you get enough rest so that you will be refreshed and ready to resume your job hunt the next day.

3. Employers do not want someone like me because I am too old/too young/the wrong gender/ fill in the blank.
A smart employer looks at your skills, not at superficial qualities.You may be right in some cases about discrimination, but ask yourself: Would you want to work for such an employer? It's worth continuing the search to find an employer who will value you.

If you air out these self-defeating ideas, you will find you can challenge them successfully. Defang self-doubt and get back on the road to finding the job you truly want and deserve.

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