I am going to write this from the other side of the fence, as a student who has left for college and let parents know the right and wrong ways that my parents dealt with it.I guess my situation is a bit different because I went away for high school to a boarding school about 2 hours away from home. The time frame is different, but I think the lessons are still the same.
That very first day waving goodbye to my parents trying to choke back tears that I feigned weren't there was very hard.
PARENTS: The hard, "I'm ready to leave home" facade is just that, a facade.
Children that are leaving home do feel sad, nervous, excited, anxious
just as you do.
While my parents helped me unpack my room, there were tense moments as my mother would ask the same questions over and over again: "So you know what classes you're registered for right?", or "Are you sure you don't want to put this over here, or that over there?"
PARENTS: We told you the first time, and no, the first time was not a mistake.
Parents, let your children breath a little. Allow them the space to
personalize their own space and start taking responsibility for
themselves.
I might be the first person to say this, but during the first few weeks extra phone calls are OK. Not after every class or every morning at 8:30AM, but keeping tabs on your child to make sure that everything is going OK and that they have settled in is comforting.
PARENTS: Calling around lunch time, and before bed are good times to just check in
with your college student, simply to give words of encouragement or to
ask for the address of the dorm you'll be sending that care package to.
Connecting with your children in their first few weeks is encouraging and
comforting.
#1 Rule for Parents: DON'T OVER DO IT!
You have been great parents up until now, your child is going away to college and that means that you have done something right in the 18 years leading up to this moment. Relax, you have made a young adult and now its time to step back and look at your handy work. Don't get me wrong, when the time comes, bust a few heads if you need to, always be there to offer guidance and support, but do not smother your children. Let them live, allow your relationship to morph a little bit so that your college bound freshman becomes more of a confidante and you will not regret it!
Learn more about this author, Tamara Sinclair.
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