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Testimonials: Humorous stories from of job loss and unemployment

The restaurant was changing shifts when I pulled the drawers from the registers. I was on my way to the office with them when the back door opened and Frank, the owner, stepped in. "Got a match?" he asked with a grin, relieving me of the drawers.

"Hey, Frank. What are you doing here on your day off?

"I have something to tell you Mary," he said, putting the drawers on the desk, motioning me to have a seat.



"Okay," I said, lowering myself onto the stool. "What's up?"

"I've sold the restaurant."

"You what?"

"My reasons are personal. It is a decision my wife and I made months ago. The new owners will come in next week. I haven't told any of you because I was afraid a lot of you might quit and they wouldn't have a staff."

"I have been your assistant manager for five years, Frank."

"I know and the new owners will depend on you to train them."

"You want me to train the new owners? What- are they amateurs?"

"They owned a bakery so they're somewhat familiar with what's entailed. It's a family group of five who went in partners and bought the place so they'll all be here running it together. But I've told them about you and they need you to help them get started."

Frank neglected to tell me the new owners were dumb as stumps! I went over every detail of how to pull the drawers and get a register check. Not one of them could get it right and were confounded completely by the cash report. But, after nearly a month of trying to teach them, they began to catch on.

Sarah, the only female of the group, seemed to be the decision maker. Sarah was cheap and refused to buy sanitizing cleaners. Instead, she bought cheap store-brand dish soap. They were negligent in keeping the bathrooms cleaned and stocked and persisted in serving day old items which were usually discarded and replaced with fresh.

On the sixth week after they had taken over, Sarah called me to the office. "Hi Mary," she said, motioning me to sit.

I sat down, feigning a smile. "Is there a problem?"

"We know everything we need to know now and no longer need an assistant manager." (I was blown away!) "We have decided to demote you to regular staff salary."

"No," I said, getting up. "If you won't pay me the salary I'm entitled to, then you'll just have to fire me."

"Oh we can't do that. It would entitle you to unemployment and we have to be careful about things like that."

"How can you do this to me? I put so much effort into helping you."

She glared at me without emotion and said, "It's called business, Mary."

Leaning forward I hissed, "It's BAD business!" Then I clocked out and left.

Not two days later I had landed myself a great job and after four weeks of training, I was sent out on my first assignment.

Approaching the restaurant with a gladsome stride, I entered the building and went to the front register. "Hello, Sarah," I said with a spiteful grin."

"She gave me the once over and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I was told you would be expecting me," I said, tapping the name tag I proudly wore on my shirt that read, "Mary White - HEALTH INSPECTOR".

124117_m Learn more about this author, Pat Lunsford.
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