3 of 26

Good

Write now Article Tools

Arranged marriages have been and still are, the norm in much of the eastern world. The term 'arranged marriage' is a much maligned one, probably for a good reason. The term brings to mind harassed young men and women being forced to accept each other, due to family and societal pressure. However, this is no longer so. As with everything else, arranged marriages too, have seen changes with the passage of time. Today's youth do have the choice of finding their soul mate by themselves. The only role that the family plays in this, is to bring prospective brides/grooms in touch with each other. There is no force involved, there is no obligation that the couple has to accept each other even if they feel they are not compatible. In what way are such arrangements different from dating portals or meeting dates through friends or even advertising for prospective matches? Are we against it merely because of the term 'arranged marriage'? Aren't most marriages 'arranged' in some way or the other? How many of us have 'met the eyes of a stranger across a room and fallen in love at first sight'?

There is a strong justification for arranging marriages. Despite all the romantic stories we hear, the reality of marriage has precious little to do with romance. What we term 'romance' and 'love' seldom bears any resemblance to the steadfast love and great amount of sacrifice and compromise that is required to make a marriage work. Most young people do not realize this. That steadfast love and respect comes of shared backgrounds, shared values, shared interests, shared experiences and a healthy respect for each other. And this is where arranged marriages have a slight advantage. The prospective brides and grooms are from shared backgrounds, similar family standings i.e. the basic criteria has been met.
Also, in the East, people still live in extended families unlike the nuclear families of the West. An extended family brings with it many benefits like emotional and financial support, readily available childcare, strength to get through the tough times. However, it also brings with it the pitfalls of inter-personal relationships. With so many people living together, it is essential to be able to blend in. In an arranged marriage, the partner is chosen as someone who will blend in with the entire family.
There are also the love-cum-arranged marriages so much in vogue today.. where the couple have met, fallen in love and decided to get married. However, they still go to their respective families for 'approval' of the match.
At the end of the day, it is up to the couple to make the most of what they have to get the relationship to work. Let us give credit to marriages that work, irrespective of whether they were 'arranged' in the first place or not.

Learn more about this author, Ria Bikash.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Are arranged marriages a good tradition or an outdated notion??
We want to hear your view. Write now!