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AND THEN THE PIG FLEW

An extremely indignant look spread across John's face as he stared at the man standing before him.

"Me? Join you? When pigs fly, jerk!"

A pig chose that moment to fly past. John looked up.

"What the hell?" he asked.

"Shall I take that as a sign of your agreement, or were you just being metaphorical?" The man shifted his feet, but his arms remained crossed. Though he was obviously tired, the man seemed to enjoy standing there, towering over John, and just being menacing in general. "I'd like an answer soon, if it's not too much to ask."

He shrugged his shoulders, a very slight movement, but his menacing black cape flapped back just a bit, exposing an extremely menacing iron flail dangling from his belt.

John found it counterproductive to ponder the question of what else was beneath that cape, so he began to calculate the lift necessary to launch a pig into the air.

The man, growing impatient, pried into John's thoughts and snorted in disgust. "Quit stalling! Your mathematics will not save you now!"

"I gave you my answer. You really need to work on those listening skills."

For the briefest moment, a look of rage flashed across the man's face, but he quickly resumed his menacing nonchalance. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Completely sure?"

"Yes!"

The man leaned closer, his eyes narrowing. "Positive?"

John threw up his hands in disgust and turned. As he walked away, the man whispered "You will regret this, boy."

* * *

"How did one measly little belt hold the weight of an iron flail?"

John's jaw dropped. "You're missing the point."

"But it's a perfectly legitimate question." Harry arched one golden blond eyebrow at his friend. "Isn't it?"

"If I was going to ask a legitimate question, it would involve the pig that flew past right when I mentioned a flying pig."

"That actually happened?" Harry snorted. "I thought that was just a metaphor for your stupidity."

"How does that even work?"

"Oh, for cryin' out loud, do I have to explain everything to you?"

John leaned closer to Harry. "Listen, man, the mechanics of that guy's pants-retaining system was not the first thing on my mind."

"Who was he, anyway?"

This time it was John who snorted. "Must I explain everything to you?"

"Well, it would be nice if you made sense."

An exasperated sigh meandered from John's lungs. "It would be nice if life made sense once in a while."

"Well, whoever he is, it sounds like the guy was threatening you. Maybe you should be discussing this with the police?"

* * *

The officer leaned back in his chair and

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