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Doh, what's your problem, dumdum? If you think this is a new low in US culture, you're absolutely right. So what! Don't have a cow! The 50-year-old 7-11 logo and store image were getting sleazier all the time, and the chain of cheapo junk purveyors needed a boost in image and appeal to the public.

What better idea can it be to associate itself with a major TV hit for the past 30 years, and an emerging super-hit movie? And it isn't much of a stretch to imagine that most of the people who shop for the cheap junk at such stores look and act more like Simpsons than the Simpsons themselves.

The new name, although a familiar joke to Simpson's millions of fans, also conveys the exact image the chain stores always has given to drive-in customers in a hurry. Kwik-E-Mart means you can make a fast stop and get what you need in a hurry. Not quality stuff, but good old-fashioned junk and awful food the Simpson family loves.

Purists will continue to look down their noses at the disfunctional image the Simpson family perpetuates. But, hey, all fields of entertainment have matched the Simpsons in dumbing down everything about American culture. We don't really need that much of a boost.

In a nation that worships crooked and/or stupid politicians, useless wars, drugged-out movie bimbos, steroid-pumped millionaire jocks and toilet-mouthed rock stars, by comparison, the low-brow Simpsons are actually a breath of fresh air.

Learn more about this author, Ted Sherman.
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